To my great great surprise, it seemed like so many people know about the past of him and me. Why are people still talking about us after so long. Or may be I am just too paranoid.
This very day, I realised that he still can’t be truthful towards me; even as a FRIEND. Then, someone told me that if I had already lost trust in him then why should I believe him in the first place. This very day, 3 people told me the same thing. The same thing that I always thought that I know, yet I chose not to know.
I think I should die a million times.
Sometimes, some things just couldn’t help it. The brain says one thing, yet the heart says another.
Shuqin told me a story of her friend and another guy whom have affections for two ladies. It’s about dating, and being in a relationship. The guy couldn’t make up his mind of whom he want to be with, and so he’s dating 2 of them now. One of them knows another woman’s existence yet the other doesn’t. The guy is happy that he has best of both worlds. The woman who knows the existence of a rival doesn’t mind to be in this dating relationship even though she knows that there might be no future in the long run, because she’s happy right now being with him. The poor woman who doesn’t know that her “bf” has an affair thought she’s the only one he loves.
Another guy friend of mine asked me a question. If a guy likes me, and I doesn’t like him, would I take advantage of him? I told him a straight no. His conclusion was that most people would take advantage of the person. It was quite a food of thought. And so when I returned home, I asked myself this question again. Again, my answer was no. Otherwise, define adavantages.
A girl-friend of mine asked if I still had feelings for him, and pointed out that he seemed like a playboy. But I told her that he’s more like a flirt. In fact, I think most guys are flirt. Cos they can have 1 girl that they love, yet many flings around. They’re just out to play. And so, probably that is why social escorts/prostitutes are needed. Perhaps, this is why some woman would make a cuckold of their man.
Even Melvin could tell me that he still loves me and hoping that one day we could still be together when he has a girlf now. And I started to wonder, when we were together, did he say this to his ex. I appreciate all the things that he had done; the changes he made, the forgiveness he gave. He’s probably he guy that gave me the most security.
Are all guys like that? Or is it that he guys that I meet are baskets.
If I keep getting jealous over something, it just meant that the guy is not suitable for me because he’s not giving me any trust/security. Love is just a word.
Tags: him, relationship
